So two days ago (Friday) I had a Doctors appointment. It was some follow up on blood work I had gotten done because recently, my left foot has been really swollen and slightly sore. I thought it was because of the fact that I had twisted my ankle really bad a year ago ( and yes, I didn't get it checked out because I could still wiggle my toes, so it wasn't broken, so why get it checked out? disclaimer: because you just should) and ever since then, when I walk on it too much, it gets swollen. But anyways, I went to the Dr., she sent me to get my blood done and then we had this said follow up. And she told me some news. Based on my blood and urine samples ( sorry for the details), it looks as if I 'm on my way to having diabetes.
....now this is where I should talk about how shocked I was. How I cried because I suddenly have this life long disease. But the thing is....none of that's true. And that's because I kind of was just waiting for the day this news would actually happen.
Let me explain.
Diabetes runs in my family on my dad's side. My Grandma had it. Her four children have/had it ( my Uncle passed away from Cancer in 2010). At least three of my cousins have it. My older sister has it. Basically, it's big in my family. So obviously, I'm at an increased likelihood of getting it. In fact, I was told that when I was 8. At that time, I was diagnosed with what is called "Honeymoon Stage Diabetes". Basically that means I'm not free of diabetes ("single") but I'm not full fledge diabetic ("married and in it for life"). I'm just a "newlywed" to diabetes. Kind of odd, but meh it is what it is.
8 year old me
So for almost 14 years, I've kinda been waiting for the day my status changes from "newlywed' or "honeymooner" to "just plain old married". And at almost 22, it looks like that day is nigh. It's not quite set in stone, but with my history, it might as well be. And I'm okay with it.
Wait...what?
Yes, I'm okay with it. Firstly, I've had 14 years of already eating and living like I'm diabetic, so it's not a huge life change. It was a big change when I was 8 and could no longer eat copious amount of pasta ( which I LURVE) or chow down on all my Halloween candy in one night. But the fact is, I can still eat those things. Contrary to popular belief, people with diabetes can still eat...
15 year old me
...Things like cake...
20 year old self. Thanksgiving. Pumpkin Pie. Yeah Buddy!
...and pie with ice cream...
20 year old self with former college roomies <3
...and just ice cream...with, you know, ALL the fixins'
And every other sweet thing in between. And I won't die. The key is moderation. I can eat some sweet things in moderation. But I don't have to cut them completely out of my diet. I just need to cut back. Just a little lesson for all those people out there who think that as a diabetic we eat no sugar. We still eat natural sugar in things like fruits, because we can't cut them off completely. We just need to eat healthy. And by that, I mean well rounded. We can't have to much carbs or sweets in a meal. We have to have our dairy, protein, veggies and fruits too, with a little bit of healthy fats. And yes, even a bit of sugar. Our bodies can't change the sugar we eat to energy as easily, but it still can do it to some extent. You know that Guide to Healthy Eating you should pay attention to, but never really do? Yeah, we just kinda live our lives by that thing.
So, no, don't feel sorry for me. Don't say "Oh my God this is terrible" or "you poor thing". I don't want to hear it. I don't deserve to hear it. I'm not dying! I'm just eating healthy and managing my health, just like everyone else should be doing too. There are people who deserve sympathy much more than I do.
Living with diabetes is just that: Living. I've been doing so for almost a third of my life. And I'm still going. I hang out with my friends and have fun. I read amazing books, spend too much time on the internet and paint my nails every other day. I'm not any different than I would be if I was never told this news at 8. I'm probably a lot healthier in fact, even if it doesn't seem that way to you. I'm happy, I've got a great group of people around me and I'm doing what I want. Diabetes isn't going to stop me from being me. It's just going to be another part of who I am.
21 and happy <3
Over and Meowt!
Marli J
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